


Hot chocolate with peppermint schnapps

by stilljustbitten



Category: La casa de papel | Money Heist (TV)
Genre: Berlermo Secret Santa, Childhood Memories, Christmas with the gang, First Kiss, M/M, Soft Boys, Stealing, mentions of physical abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-23
Updated: 2020-12-23
Packaged: 2021-03-11 04:33:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,992
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28259265
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stilljustbitten/pseuds/stilljustbitten
Summary: “Martín, I think you’re supposed to add some hot chocolate to that peppermint schnapps,” Andrés hears Denver say from the kitchen. He sees the evil glance Martín sends Denver before telling him to mind his own fucking business, and when Denver opens his mouth to probably annoy Martín further, Andrés decides to step in - mostly to save poor Denver from getting hot chocolate thrown in his face.
Relationships: Berlin | Andrés de Fonollosa & Palermo | Martín Berrote, Berlin | Andrés de Fonollosa/Palermo | Martín Berrote
Comments: 19
Kudos: 50





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [viajeramyra](https://archiveofourown.org/users/viajeramyra/gifts).



When they receive the invitation from Monica, Martín isn’t exactly excited. 

“A Christmas get together? I sure hope she means an excuse to get wasted, or I’m not showing up,” he says and throws the handmade and very festive invitation on the table.

“I doubt that she wants us to get wasted at 3 in the afternoon,” Andrés says. “I just think she wants to see us all. It’s been a while.” 

“Just because it’s December doesn’t mean everything has to be about fucking Christmas. Can’t you just bring your wife instead of me?”

Andrés tries to resist the urge to roll his eyes but fails.

“Martín—” 

“I bet Monica is going to make Helsinki dress up as Santa Claus and hand out presents to everyone. And maybe, if we get really lucky, we all have to make hand-crafted Christmas decorations while sipping hot chocolate. Fucking women.” 

Andrés lets Martín continue his rant and doesn’t complain when he slams the door. He knows how Martín feels about Christmas, and he knows that if he asks nicely, if he tells him how much he wants him to be there, he’ll end up going anyway.

Monica and Denver really went all-in with their Christmas decorations, every tree around the house is wrapped nicely in Christmas lights. Martín sighs loudly.

“God, I fucking hate winter,” he complains, wrapping his arms around himself. Andrés can’t help but smile because Martín finally _talks_. He’s been awfully quiet the whole ride, which isn’t normal, and Andrés started worrying if it was a bad idea convincing him to go. 

He doesn’t have time to worry too much, because the door is opened by a very excited Monica. The change in Martín is immediate when he greets Monica with an equally excited smile, his annoyance nowhere to be seen. Andrés has always been impressed by how quickly he manages to put up a facade. It used to bother him, to make him unsure if the emotions he saw on Martín reflected his real emotions. Now, after all these years, he knows Martín well enough to be able to see right through his mask.

When everyone is seated around the big table, it feels like the good old days of planning the heist, but without all the pressure. They know each other by now, and they no longer have to follow any of the stupid rules Sergio made up, which definitely makes it more enjoyable.

Martín is sitting next to Helsinki, and the man always knows how to bring a smile to Martín’s face. He seems to enjoy himself, and Andrés tries to focus on that, instead of the fact that he should be the one to make Martín smile. He feels like he failed because he didn’t manage to make Martín snap out of his thoughts in the car during the long ride.

After a nice early dinner, Monica tells them that there are snacks and hot chocolate in the kitchen, and they’re welcome to hang around as long as they want to.

“Martín, I think you’re supposed to add some hot chocolate to that peppermint schnapps,” Andrés hears Denver say from the kitchen. He sees the evil glance Martín sends Denver before telling him to mind his own fucking business, and when Denver opens his mouth to probably annoy Martín further, Andrés decides to step in - mostly to save poor Denver from getting hot chocolate thrown in his face.

He gently grabs Denver’s arm.

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you,” he hisses quietly.

Denver throws up his hands in a surrendering gesture.

“What the fuck is his problem? How can anyone hate Christmas that much? He’s ruining my mood with all of his sulking.”

“Just leave him alone,” Andrés says in a pointed voice, and Denver finally rolls his eyes and leaves. Andrés glances at Martín, who is concentrated on adding whipped cream on top of his drink. He wants to talk to him, to cheer him up, but he knows that it’s best just to leave him alone when his mood is like that. 

When Martín sits down in a chair in a quiet corner of the living room, Andrés continues to keep an eye on him while chatting with his brother. It seems like everyone has finally accepted just to leave him alone.

It’s a burden to know someone so well, really. Andrés knows that it’s not his job to look after Martín, but today he feels like it’s necessary. After all, he’s the only one in this house who really knows Martín, maybe even the only one who really cares about him, too. He is surprised how much it pains him that Martín isn’t feeling well and that he isn’t sure what to do about it. He isn’t able to erase the memories that make Martín hate Christmas. Martín hasn’t told him much, and he just accepted it, because Martín shut completely down the one time he asked.

“Is he alright?” Sergio asks Andrés, also looking at Martín.

Andrés shrugs. “I don’t know. I think he’ll be fine, he just doesn’t like Christmas. Bad memories, I guess.”

“He’s had a lot of that peppermint schnapps by now,” Sergio adds, brows furrowed. 

Andrés pinches the bridge of his nose and closes his eyes. He sighs.

“I know. What am I supposed to do?” he says in an exhausted voice.

“He loves you, Andrés.”

Andrés snaps his eyes open and looks at Sergio, whose expression is still as calm as before.

“Excuse me?”

“I’m just saying that— He loves you, and just being with you makes his eyes sparkle. Go talk to him.” 

With those words, Sergio stands up and walks away, before Andrés has the chance to respond. 

Martín is curled up in the chair in front of the window with both of his hands around his warm cup. There’s a slight blush on his cheeks, probably an effect of the hot drink or the alcohol in it. He is gazing out the window, his eyes unfocused, probably lost in thoughts once again. 

When Andrés appears in front of him, forcing his eyes to focus, the corners of his mouth actually curl up a little.

“Andrés. Are you having fun?”

“I’m fine, thanks. But you’re clearly not.”

Martín’s almost-smile disappears.

“Great, just what I need, another lecture about how I should enjoy this magical time of the year, how I’m missing out on all the joys of Christmas. You know how I feel about all of this, don’t expect me to—”

“It’s alright, Martín,” Andrés interrupts him. “Just— take a walk with me?”

Martín opens his mouth to say something, seemingly confused by the interruption of his rant. Then he downs the rest of his hot chocolate and gets up from the chair, his first steps slightly insecure from the drinking. 

The sun is about to set, which makes it a lot colder outside than when they arrived earlier. Luckily there’s no wind, but Andrés is glad that he brought a scarf. 

They walk in silence for a while, before Andrés speaks.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“About what?”

Andrés doesn’t answer, and Martín huffs.

“Oh, about my shitty childhood and the fact that I had to steal my own fucking Christmas presents?”

Andrés glances at him.

“You never actually told me why you hate Christmas.”

“Believe me, you don’t want to know, it really isn’t that interesting.”

“If I didn’t want to know, I wouldn’t have asked.”

It takes a few minutes for Martín to start talking.

“You know when most kids get really excited around Christmas because of the decorations and the presents? Well, my parents didn’t give a shit about Christmas, so I never experienced that joy. They never celebrated. The first day at school after the holidays all the other kids talked about the amazing presents they got, and I always had to make up a story, because I didn’t get anything.”

Martín’s hands are buried deep in his pockets, and he is staring at the ground when he continues.

“I remember when I told my parents that I had to bring a present to school because we had some kind of advent calendar in my class. Of course, they didn’t buy anything - in fact, they got really mad at me, for even suggesting that they should spend their money on something as _stupid_ as that. So I had to go to a store and steal a present for the calendar. And figure out a way to hide the bruises from my classmates the following day.” 

Something in Andrés’ chest clenches at those words, and he is overwhelmed by the need to protect Martín, even though it’s too late.

“I’m sorry,” he says, knowing how fucking useless it is.

Martín removes his hands from his pockets to pull up his collar to protect him from the cold.

He laughs, but it’s a hollow sound.

“Yeah, at least that taught me how to steal, so I continued stealing my own presents every Christmas, just to have something to show my classmates when school began. They were always jealous because I got the coolest and most expensive stuff.”

Martín’s jaw is clenched, and he keeps avoiding Andrés’ eyes. 

He doesn’t even think before he reaches for Martín’s hand, hesitantly wrapping his fingers around it. It’s warm against his own, and Martín looks at him, surprise painted on his face. There’s still a darkness in his eyes, but his muscles are more relaxed. Andrés sends him a reassuring smile, and Martín instantly tightens his grip, as if he’s afraid Andrés will let go.

“I didn’t exactly have the best holidays in my childhood either,” Andrés says. “Let me show you something.”

They walk for a couple of minutes before Andrés leads Martín into a park. Not just any park. He spotted it on their ride. Every tree is decorated with Christmas lights in different colors and soft music is playing from speakers placed around the park. Not the first place to bring someone who doesn’t like Christmas, but the atmosphere in the park is special, and he has a feeling Martín won’t hate it.

“Let’s sit here for a while,” Andrés says, nodding towards a bench. When they sit down, Andrés doesn’t let go of Martín’s hand. Martín is looking around the park, and Andrés watches how the colored lights reflect in his eyes, erasing the darkness. 

“With my brother going in and out of the hospital, my parents didn’t always have time for Christmas. I ended up spending a lot of time alone, so I had to figure out the beauty of Christmas all by myself. Things that I could enjoy without my family. I remember visiting parks like this just to sit for hours looking at the lights while reading a book.”

He caresses Martín’s hand with his thumb.

“We all have our bad memories. Sometimes you just need to change your perspective to see the beauty of things.”

Martín nods absentmindedly, still looking at the lights. He swallows and turns his focus to Andrés.

“What is this?”

He gestures towards their hands on the bench, raising one of his eyebrows.

Andrés shrugs.

“I guess I just wanted to. I hope it’s okay.”

The look on Martín’s face is unsure, but he almost smiles.

“Yeah. I like it.” 

Andrés suddenly notices how Martín shivers from the cold.

“You’re cold,” he states.

Martín shakes his head.

“I’m okay.”

But Andrés has already let go of Martín’s hand to take off his scarf. He moves closer to Martín and starts wrapping the scarf around his neck. When he’s done, he doesn’t let go of the scarf. Martín’s breathing forms small clouds in the air between them, and Andrés feels like it’s the first time he really _sees_ Martín. Like the colored lights reveal a new dimension of his best friend, making him notice the softness of his facial features. 

Over the beating of his own heart, he can hear Sergio’s voice in his head. 

_“He loves you, and just being with you makes his eyes sparkle.”_

Martín’s eyes do in fact sparkle. They also flicker nervously, because Andrés’ face is close, closer than it has ever been, and Andrés, too, feels the magnetic pull. Martín’s cheeks are colored by the lights and the cold, and he opens his mouth slightly to say something, but Andrés never finds out what, because he drowns the words with his own lips, pulling Martín closer with his scarf. He swallows the surprised gasp from Martín when their lips meet.

He tastes the sweet peppermint on Martín’s lips, on his tongue, and Andrés feels warm all over, in contrast to Martín’s cold fingers suddenly wrapped around the back of his neck. His grip is firm, and Andrés senses the desperation radiating from him, the way he holds on to Andrés as if he were to disappear any moment. As if it was Martín’s last chance to touch him. Andrés wraps his fingers around Martín’s upper arm and slowly pulls his head away, just enough to look Martín in the eyes. 

Martín blinks a couple of times to focus on Andrés’ face. His hand moves from Andrés’ neck to his cheek, tracing his jawline with his fingers.

“Thank you,” Martín says, almost just a whisper. “For making me feel better.”

Andrés places one last kiss on his lips.

“Let’s go home.”

Martín nods, and Andrés’ hand once again finds his, never intending to let go.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a few angsty Christmas flashbacks from Martín's past, because I couldn't stop thinking about what I did to him.

Martín pushed through the thick crowd of adults standing in line in the toy store. Luckily for him, everyone was in Christmas panic, buying the last couple of presents before Christmas day tomorrow. The crowdedness of the store was perfect for the occasion, made it easier for him to hide. 

He couldn’t stop staring at all the toys in the shopping baskets. So many toys. His stomach clenched in envy over all the presents other kids received for Christmas. He knew it was normal, the parents of his classmates actually bought toys for them, but seeing it with his own eyes, all the parents spending both time and money on their kids, was overwhelming. 

“Hey there, young man,” one of the employees addressed him, making him snap out of his thoughts. “You’re not lost, are you?”

Martín’s heart started hammering in his chest, and he tried his best to look like a normal kid who wasn’t panicking. 

“No, sir. My mom is just over there.” 

He gestured vaguely to the other end of the store.

“Alright, my friend. Tell me if there’s anything in particular you’re looking for.”

Martín nodded.

“Thank you, sir. I will.”

As soon as the employee turned around, Martín let out a breath. His heart was still beating harder than it should be, but he continued his journey through the store.

He saw it before he even got to the shelf. His biggest wish for this Christmas. Every kid’s biggest wish, to be fair. The brand new Game Boy. But the difference was that, while other kids might actually find it under the Christmas tree tomorrow, he definitely wouldn’t. Mostly because they didn’t have a Christmas tree at home, but also because his parents never bought him presents.

He was just tall enough to reach the Game Boy when standing on his toes. When he held it in his hands, they were shaking. He never held something so beautiful, so precious. So expensive. He admired it for a moment, caressing the shiny surface with his fingers.

He took a quick glance around to make sure no one was looking, and with his heart in his throat, he shoved the small box under his jacket. It felt like it took him forever, the movement too clumsy and inexperienced, but when he looked around again, no one paid him any attention.

He wanted to run, but he forced himself to calm down, to act as nothing happened. He just had to get out of the store, and everything would be perfect. He buried his sweaty hands in the pockets of his jacket, to be able to hold onto the box.

Martín continued to walk around the store for a couple of minutes, pretending to look at some other toys. Then he pushed past the line once again and calmly walked out of the store close to a woman who could easily have been his mom.

When he finally got outside, he could feel the panic taking over his body, and he was only able to continue walking calmly for a couple of seconds before he could no longer resist the urge to run. He ran for as long as he could before he was no longer able to breathe, found a spot where there weren’t a lot of people around him, and sat with his back against a wall, coughing and breathing rapidly.

When he finally managed to steady his breathing, and the ringing in his ears calmed down, he looked up. Listened. There were no police sirens, no angry adults screaming his name. The people on the street walked around as if nothing happened.

_He did it._

He felt the rush through his body, his heartbeat still fast, no longer from panic, but from something else. Something way better.

It felt like the box pressed against his chest was glowing, like it was happiness itself, and it spread through his body. The laugh escaping his mouth was unstoppable, he had to cover his mouth with his hand as not to attract attention. 

He couldn’t believe he was now the owner of a Game Boy and that it had been so easy. He wanted to rip open the box right there on the street, but he knew he had to wait.

When he got home, he hid the box under his bed.

The next morning he woke up early, knowing that his parents were still asleep at the other end of the house. Instead of going to the kitchen and making himself breakfast, as he would normally do, he stayed in his bed. After all, it was Christmas. Without making any unnecessary noise, he pulled the box from under his bed, his heart skipping a beat when he laid eyes on it once again. The other kids were going to be so jealous. 

“Merry Christmas, Martín,” he said to himself before finally ripping the box open. 

On the first day of school after the holidays, his classmates were flocking around him.

“Holy shit, Berrote, you got the new Game Boy?” Mateo shouted in disbelief when he saw it. That was probably the first time Mateo said anything to him - anything that wasn’t making fun of him - and Martín enjoyed the sudden attention from the popular boy. “Can I borrow it?”

The following days, Martín was the center of attention from all the popular kids, and he enjoyed it as long as it lasted. He knew that it was only a question of time before they all went back to ignoring him, and he already started wondering which gift he would get himself next Christmas.

— 

“Martín, you still haven’t brought a gift for our advent calendar,” his teacher said to him after pulling him aside on one of the last school days of November. “Did you forget to tell your parents that you had to buy one?”

Martín felt his cheeks blush from embarrassment, and he had a quick look around to make sure that none of his classmates heard.

“No, I told them. It’s just that—” he swallowed uncomfortably, thinking “—they have been really busy with work.”

The truth was, Martín didn’t know what they were doing when they were not at home, but he supposed it was work. 

“Would you like me to talk to them?” the teacher asked, placing a gentle hand on his shoulder.

The tears pricked his eyes when he shrugged away from her touch, shaking his head violently.

“I’m sure they are going to buy a present today,” he said before turning around and leaving the class in a hurry. 

On his walk home he panicked when he realized that his parents definitely weren’t going to buy any present today, and he was the only kid who didn’t already bring a gift. He didn’t exactly need more reasons for the other kids to make fun of him, so he knew he had to get something before going to school tomorrow. 

There was only one option left.

The toy store wasn’t crowded enough for his plan to succeed, so instead, he chose the toy section of the local supermarket. There weren't any employees around, and he had already checked the security cameras and found a blind spot where the games were located. He picked one, didn’t really care which, and hid it under his jacket before heading home.

It occurred to him that he didn’t have any chance to wrap it up, so he put it in a plastic bag and gave it to his teacher the next day.

“I told you they were going to buy something,” he told her with a smile. “We didn’t have any wrapping paper, though.”

The teacher sent him a reassuring smile and patted his shoulder. 

“Don’t worry, Martín, I’ll wrap it up for you.”

Her kindness made his throat tighten. 

— 

He was sitting in his dorm room with his boyfriend the day before Christmas. This was the first time he didn’t have to endure another not-Christmas at his parents’ house. On the other hand, he was just going to celebrate this Christmas alone, so it didn’t really change anything. Miguel was going home to his family tomorrow, so Martín’s only company was going to be some beer. A lot of beer.

“Wait, I got something for you,” Miguel said and got up from the couch to rummage his backpack. When he returned, Martín saw the nicely wrapped present in his hand, and his heart almost stopped.

“No no.” He shook his head frantically, and Miguel looked at him with a puzzled expression. “I— I didn’t get anything for you.” 

He suddenly felt uncomfortable without really knowing why.

“Don’t worry about that, it’s just a small thing,” Miguel said and sat down next to him, handing him the present.

Martín took it and stared at it for a long time. Such a long time that Miguel started to worry.

“Martín? Are you alright?”

Martín snapped out of his thoughts. 

“I never received a present,” he said in a voice so small that it almost embarrassed him.

“You— what?”

Miguel looked at him with huge eyes. Martín looked back at him, biting his cheek from the inside. He fiddled with the silver ribbon.

“Seriously?”

Martín nodded.

“Well, shit. I had no idea. Why— uh, never mind. It’s really just a small thing, though.”

Miguel’s eyes flickered nervously, and Martín didn’t know what to say, so he started unwrapping the present with shaky hands. When he felt the excitement of not knowing what was inside, the realization hit him - this was how all the other kids felt every Christmas. This was why normal people liked Christmas. This was what he has been robbed of all these years. 

He slowly removed the paper, and when he saw the cover of the book inside, he felt a lump in his throat. He tried to breathe calmly but failed. When he looked up and saw that Miguel was looking expectantly at him, he opened his mouth to say something, anything, but nothing but a sob came out. He felt the tears in his eyes and blushed, cursing himself for being such a pathetic mess.

“Come here,” Miguel said and pulled him in for a hug.

When Martín hid his head on Miguel’s shoulder, he started sobbing uncontrollably, and it didn’t seem to stop. Miguel didn’t say anything but kept holding him until he was finally able to squeeze out a shaky, but very heartfelt, “thank you.”

**Author's Note:**

> Merry Christmas, Myra <3
> 
> I hope you like the fic!   
> It's a bit different from what I usually write, but the prompt called for something soft and Christmassy - and of course I had to throw in some angst.


End file.
